Gifts and Strengths of Four
We can look at the gifts and strengths of type Four with appreciation for the Fours in our life and as something we can develop in ourselves. Ideally, we want to have flexibility and be able to access the gifts and strengths of all nine personality types when they are called for in the situation.
The gifts and strengths of each type are found at the healthy levels of the personality. Here the person is closer to their essence and their gifts and strengths express the essential quality. For the Four this means that their sensitivity to their individuality and originality underlies their strengths.
Creativity, Artistry
Fours are sensitive to beauty and aesthetics. One way they express this is by creating a beautiful environment where they work and live. If a Four is forced to work in a cubicle, they will decorate it and make it as individual as possible. Not all Fours prefer a “beautiful” aesthetic in a traditional sense. For example, a Four might create an edgy, dark look. But they are all sensitive to how things look and want to create their own unique aesthetic.
This sensitivity makes it hard to be around overwhelming environments. In our modern world we are exposed to an onslaught of ugliness- news, media, pollution, noise, traffic, busyness and so on- a generally toxic environment. Something deadens inside most of us to tolerate or ignore this environment, but a Four remains sensitive so they do what they can to create space and beauty. This is a gift we can all use- instead of hunkering down and withstanding the onslaught- we can notice the impact, unplug, spend time in nature and curate a more beautiful space.
Being sensitive to beauty also means Fours have an artistic temperament and “sensibility” which is defined as “the ability to appreciate and respond to complex emotional or aesthetic influences”.
Many famous artists are Fours - from singers like Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen, Joni Mitchell, Barbra Streisand and Prince, to writers, poets, painters, film makers and so on. Fours are in touch with their creativity and want to express themselves. They often have real artistic talent but even if they aren’t an artist, they have the desire to live and work in creative ways.
Being in search of their individual identity and tuned in to their inner depths may be what gives Four artists a brilliant originality. Each artist is unique but they share a connection to exploring their own identity and an aesthetic sensibility.
Although not all Fours are performing or working in the arts, all Fours will bring a flair to whatever they do. In business they may work in design, advertising or something creative. In a meeting where others focus on results and metrics, the Four will bring a more feeling, original and creative approach.
Uniqueness, Voice
We have said that underlying the gift of being artistic and creative is the Four’s sensitivity to their own unique identity. We can also think of uniqueness as a strength in a larger sense- being determined to live as an individual and not be governed by the opinions of others or convention, being true to yourself.
Fours live their lives through a lens of “Is this me?” “Does this reflect me?” This might apply to a job, where to live, what to wear- any component of lifestyle. On a deeper level, a filter of being true to yourself might affect every decision and interaction for a Four. They have a certain boundary around what they do and don’t do based on their sense of themselves.
Fours don’t want to be “ordinary” and they don’t want to blend in, they want to be special.
Fours sensitivity to being one-of-a-kind, their desire to live up to their special uniqueness, and their rejection of settling for the ordinary or following the crowd supports them in their quest to be true to themselves. Joni Mitchell showed this sensitivity when she said “I have an aversion to being mislabeled. Here’s a label I’d accept: I’m an ‘individual.”
Of course, most Fours have responsibilities, jobs, families like everyone else and can’t be full-time artists or spend all their time cultivating their personal voice. But they will find whatever way they can to express their individuality.
What does this mean as a gift for all of us to explore? What if we really “got” that we are unique and that this is our one life to live- that we are wasting our lives in many ways when we forget this. The last two lines of the poem The Summer Day by Mary Oliver, thought to be a Four, are well known because we want to be reminded of this: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
The Summer Day
Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
this grasshopper, I mean—
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down—
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.”
Depth
Fours are emotionally sensitive and they are not afraid of the dark. Fours can sit with a friend in a difficult place and be glad to hear their story. They love the depths and the truth of the Heart. The fact that there is pain and suffering does not frighten the Four- this is their territory.
Emotional depth shows up in the lives and relationships of Fours and in their creativity and artistry where they often explore the darkness. Fours do not have an upbeat type of voice and they will not go for “positivity”. The lush, dark depths of life include sadness, and this is the truth.
Have you ever been bereaved, grieving, or suffered some sort of loss and had someone try to cheer you up or offer a bromide? Have you felt how this grates and is not real? Part of being true to ourselves is allowing our inner experience and feelings including darkness. When we minimize or avoid our suffering, we miss out on our depths.
“I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars.”
~Og Mandino
Song of a Man Who Has Come Through (excerpt)
What is the knocking?
What is the knocking at the door in the night?
It is somebody wants to do us harm.
No, no, it is the three strange angels.
Admit them, admit them.
The new book by Susan Cain Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole can be read as an ode to Four. The book “reveals the power of a bittersweet, melancholic outlook on life, and why our culture has been so blind to its value”. Cain links the bittersweet state of mind to “creativity, compassion, leadership, spirituality, mortality and love.” She is really capturing the full gift of Four and making a stand for it in a world of forced positivity.
In Bittersweet Cain writes about her favorite musician Leonard Cohen who is an exemplar of Four. She quotes the famous lines from the chorus of Cohen’s song Anthem: “Ring the bells that still can ring, forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in”.
This expresses the genius of Four, the way they understand the dark as a mysterious source. Cohen has been called the Godfather of Gloom but there is an uplifting sense in his writing and music.
There are two recent documentaries about Leonard Cohen as well as many articles about him online. The best to read is from the New Yorker, October 10, 2016, by David Remick titled “Leonard Cohen Makes It Darker”. Here are some stories from Remick’s article that capture Cohen’s sense of identity and his lifelong relationship with darkness:
When he was young, Cohen wrote in a journal that he always imagined himself as a writer, “raincoated, battered hat pulled low above intense eyes, a history of injustice in his heart, a face too noble for revenge, walking the night along some wet boulevard, followed by the sympathy of countless audiences . . . loved by two or three beautiful women who could never have him.”
An observant Jew, Cohen had many spiritual adventures including exploring religions, becoming a zen master and living for six years in a monastery, and lots of drugs.
Cohen’s writing did not come easily. He spent five years writing Hallelujah. In several writing sessions, he found himself in his underwear, banging his head against a hotel-room floor.
Cohen said he’d dealt with depression since adolescence- “Moving into some periods, which were debilitating, when I found it hard to get off the couch, to periods when I was fully operative but the background noise of anguish still prevailed”. His depression eventually lifted mysteriously.
Cohen questioned his own voice and significance and dealt with that by going ever deeper:
“It was a sense of invalidation and irrelevance that I felt was authentic, because those feelings have always circulated around my psyche: Where do you get to stand up and speak? For what and whom? And how deep is your experience? How significant is anything you have to say? . . . I think it really invited me to deepen my practice. Dig in deeper, whatever it was, take it more seriously.”
We may not all be artists, but we can all benefit from asking these questions and digging deeper. The genius of Fours is to live their life with these questions at the forefront.
Décor and Style
Here is a fun strength of Fours- they love to decorate their space and themselves to reflect their unique image. It is impossible to choose a single exemplar of the Four style because of course they are all different. Unlike the way type One style would be exemplified by Marie Kondo, organized and clean, a Four might embrace a minimal style but might also be lavish in colour and texture, or might even go totally over the top.
All fashion and style magazines such as Vogue are Fourish in nature- it’s about the very idea of style.
Look at Amy Winehouse, probably type Four, with her beehive, cat’s eye makeup and flowers in her hair.
Look at these two photos of Lady Gaga, also likely a Four, both taken on July 28, 2021, in New York City- imagine the costume change.
Celebrities who want to stand out with a particular style may go to fun extremes, but any Four will enjoy dressing and decorating as individual expression. If they have no budget, they may make their own clothes, find bargain basement pieces and put them together, hunt vintage etc. They may not look immediately remarkable, but they will have a flair of their own.
In their living or workspace Fours will also create something beautiful in their own style.
If a Four had to work in a cubicle….
“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”
While this gift of style is fun it also points on a deeper level to the way Fours feel that individual expression matters. Why try to blend in or follow trends when you can find your own creative expression?
